5 Amazing Upsides to Being Single in Your 30s & 40s

by | Sep 21, 2020

Single in Your 30s or 40s?

So you’re in your 30s or 40s, single and maybe not quite where you expected to be by now? 

Perhaps you always thought you’d be married with kids by this point.

“Settled down”.

Or at least moving in that direction anyway.

But somehow, life had other plans.

Everywhere you go you seem to be surrounded by couples and one-by-one your friends start to partner off and have kids.

It can sometimes feel like you’re the only single one left.

being single in my 30s

And then there’s the questions and comments.

“Why are you still single”

“Have you tried online dating”

“Maybe you’re too picky”

“There’s not much time left”

“You don’t want to end up alone do you”

“Don’t you want to have kids”

“Your body clock is ticking”

Sound familiar?

Even if you’re completely comfortable being single in your 30s or 40s – possibly even prefer it – there still tends to be a strong societal expectation to follow that more trodden path. 

But here’s the thing.

The world is changing.

More and more people in their 30s and 40s are living the single life. And many are thriving!

(it’s exactly why we started a travel company for solo travellers aged 25–45)

In this post, one of our travellers shares her view on 5 upsides to being single in your 30s or 40s.

1. You’ll Learn You’re in Control of Your Own Happiness

Don’t you just hate when you tell people you’re single and they give u that look… the sympathy, “Oh poor you”?! That used to really annoy me. What? Because I’m single I must be sad, feeling lonely, and my life must suck? NO! it’s the complete opposite actually. It makes me laugh as I am one of the happiest and most content people that I know! And not only do I feel it myself but others often comment on how positively I lead my life. Most people seem to think that happiness is derived solely from relationships, but that’s just not true. You could be completely happy while single, while absolutely miserable within a relationship. True happiness comes from within. Leading the ‘single life’ has taught me this. Regardless of my relationship status, I’m happy with who I am and how I live my life.

single female travellers in their 30s

2. You Have Freedom to Decide What to Do and When to Do It

Ever get tired of waiting around on people to make decisions? Relying on your partner to do fun stuff with? Family commitments with the in-laws? Not when you’re single! You make your own choices and follow your own interests. You get to do what you like, when you want to do it. No having to check in with someone else, asking for permission or aligning schedules. No need to spend precious time doing activities which don’t interest you. And most importantly, no need to suffer from someone else’s poor Netflix choices! You have complete flexibility and freedom to fill your days with your own unique passions.

    group of single travellers in their 30s

    3. You Get To Spend Your Money…on YOU

    No debates or compromises on where to spend your hard-earned cash. Many couples live month-to-month and money tends to go quickly on family essentials like house, car, and kids. But when you’re single you can choose exactly what to spend your money on and let’s be honest… it’s mostly spent on yourself! You can book that cool holiday, take up that new hobby, or buy those new clothes – all completely guilt free.

    single life in your 30s and 40s

    4. You Can Travel The World

    This is your time where you have complete freedom to explore the world. Where are the places you’ve always wanted to visit? What are the activities you’ve always wanted to do. If travel is your thing, you could go on multiple holidays per year rather than being limited to that 1 big family trip. And think of all the places you can venture now which may be much trickier with kids. It could also be the perfect time to take that sabbatical you’ve always dreamed of – you may never get this chance again. And who knows who you may meet along the way! Now more than ever, there are so many single travellers in their 30s and 40s roaming the world.

    travelling while being single in your 30s and 40s

    5. There’s More Room for Personal Growth

    Ever thought about putting all that free time towards doing something useful? How about learning a language, volunteer work or getting into the shape of your life? Challenge yourself to something completely out of your comfort zone and commit to it. You will develop skills you never thought were possible. This is also a great time of life to focus inward and make changes. Take the time to review what it is you really want out of life. Who do you want to be? What brings you joy? What gives you purpose? Learn to cultivate these things in your life regardless of whether or not you’re in a relationship.

    dancing salsa while being single in my 30s

    Here’s Our Take on Being Single in Your 30s or 40s

    You’ll notice that in the list above there’s nothing to say these things can’t be done in a relationship.

    But the point is, when you’re single, it’s usually easier.

    You have more free time.

    You have more flexibility.

    You have more money (for you).

    You have less commitments and constraints.

    So take advantage of it. 

    This is the time in life to focus on YOU.

    Clearly there are many benefits of being in a relationship, but we often give this way too much focus and forget to weigh it up against the many other advantages of being single.

    And so if you’re single right now, why not choose to focus on the positives.

    Because if at some point down the line, you do find yourself in a relationship, you may just regret that you didn’t take more advantage of the single life!

    Just ask all of your “settled down” friends 🙂

    How about you? What would you add to the list? Let us know in the comment box below.